Restaurant Ordering with Friends

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One of life's simple pleasures is a night out with friends. But restaurant ordering can occasionally get complicated when the group isn't on the same page about what to order, whether to share dishes, or how to handle the check. Fortunately, a few friendly etiquette guidelines can smooth out those small bumps and keep the focus where it belongs: on good food and great company.

Restaurant Ordering Basics: Keep It Even

The first guideline for restaurant ordering with a group, large or small, is to "keep it even." This simply means that everyone orders along the same lines for drinks and courses so the meal flows naturally.

If the group orders cocktails before dinner, it's thoughtful for everyone to have something in front of them, even if it's sparkling water or iced tea. The same goes for a round of drinks during the meal or coffee afterward. No one needs to order the same beverage; the idea is just that everyone has a glass to raise.

Matching courses matters even more. When one person enjoys a bowl of soup while everyone else waits for their main course, the rhythm of the meal is interrupted, and it can feel a bit awkward for everyone. That's why it helps to chat about the plan before ordering. While looking over the menu, the group can decide together whether to start with appetizers, go straight to entrées, or save room for dessert.

The Joy of Sharing Food

Good food is meant to be enjoyed together, and sharing dishes is a wonderful way to do it. Many restaurants welcome family-style dining, where a dish arrives at the table and is passed to the right, with each person serving a portion onto their own plate. At a small table of two or three, the dish can simply be placed in the center, where everyone can reach it easily.

Sharing works best when the whole group is on board. If most of the table is sharing while one or two people order separately, a little flexibility goes a long way. Two friends splitting a dish within a larger group usually isn't an issue at all. But at a table of three, it's considerate to choose dishes all three can enjoy, so no one feels left out.

Paying the Check with a Group

When friends dine out together, the bill is often paid individually or by couple. The start of the meal is the perfect time to sort this out. If someone is feeling generous and wants to treat the table, they can say so early. Otherwise, letting your server know right away that you'd like separate checks is always appreciated and makes the end of the evening much easier.

Some restaurants have a one-check-per-table policy, and sometimes the group simply forgets to ask. In that case, splitting the check evenly and having each person add their own tip is usually the simplest approach. However, if one person had a salad and water while another enjoyed a steak and two glasses of wine, it's fairer for each diner to pay for what they ordered.

Hosted occasions are different. If you've been invited to a special celebration or a private dining room, it's generally understood that the host will take care of the check. Hosts can avoid any confusion by arranging payment before guests arrive or letting the server know the bill should come to them. Even so, it's wise for guests to bring a form of payment, just in case.

Go with the Flow

Meals with friends go much more smoothly when everyone is in agreement, or at least graciously goes along. Unless a choice truly conflicts with your values or needs, it's kind to follow the group's lead. If everyone decides to share appetizers, enjoy the shared plates rather than ordering one just for yourself. If the table agrees to split the check evenly, cheerfully pay your share.

There will likely be many more meals with this group, and you'll have plenty of chances to share your preferences next time, either when plans are being made or by politely declining if the arrangement doesn't suit you.

Enjoy the Evening

Restaurant ordering with friends doesn't have to be confusing. With a little communication and a generous spirit, everyone can relax, savor the meal, and look forward to the next time you gather around the table.