Conversation Topics
Best Left for Later

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When I ask students which conversation topics they steer clear of at gatherings, their answers rarely differ: “Religion, politics, and money.”

They’re right on target. Of all the conversation topics we might choose, these three tend to carry the most emotional weight. They are also the subjects people most often judge one another by, and once an opinion about someone has formed, it can be very hard to change.

That doesn’t mean these subjects are off-limits forever. It simply means that timing and relationship matter. Let’s look at why.

The Purpose of Conversation

We talk with others every day, often without giving it much thought. Even on autopilot, conversation helps us share information and build relationships.

When we approach it mindfully, though, a simple exchange becomes something more. The other person feels seen and heard. Their thoughts are acknowledged, and they feel respected. Often, that sense of connection takes root before you’ve even moved past small talk!

If you think of conversation as a way to bring people together, and speak from that place, connection tends to follow naturally.

When to Set Certain Conversation Topics Aside

A first impression is often a lasting one. Social events and professional networking in particular are moments when you’ll want that impression to be a good one.

When you’re meeting someone for the first time, the usual advice is to keep conversation topics fairly neutral and to share opinions in broad strokes when asked. This might feel a bit guarded, but remember that you don’t yet know the person you’re speaking with. You may not know where they work, who they’re related to, or what experiences have shaped their views. Jumping into deeply personal territory before you’ve built any rapport can offend without meaning to. It can also close the door on a promising friendship or business relationship.

Even as someone becomes a trusted colleague or new friend, it’s wise to test the waters before wading into political views or religious beliefs. Sometimes the kindest path is to agree to disagree before too much is said.

Conversation Topics Best Left for Later

Go into every conversation ready to listen, knowing that differences are always present. With that in mind, here are a few subjects that are usually best saved for closer relationships or the right moment:

Strong opinions on the news or heated current events. What feels like casual commentary to you may touch a nerve for someone else.

Gossip or unkind words about others, including groups or organizations someone may belong to. It leaves listeners wondering what you might say about them.

Gloomy or “downer” subjects. A little lightness goes a long way when you’re getting acquainted.

Off-color or inappropriate jokes. Humor rarely lands the same way with everyone.

Health concerns - your own or anyone else’s.

Relationship troubles. Venting about a partner or family member can make others uncomfortable.

Personal problems. These deserve a trusted listener rather than a new acquaintance.

What to Talk About Instead

So what’s left? Plenty! Good conversation topics invite the other person to share without putting anyone on the spot. Think travel, favorite books or shows, hobbies, local restaurants, upcoming plans, or how they came to be at the event. Open-ended questions such as “What’s been keeping you busy lately?” give people room to talk about what matters to them.

Listening: The Other Half of Conversation

The human tendency to make quick judgments is always with us, yet our better angels urge us each day to create harmony and extend goodwill in our families and communities. Choosing thoughtful conversation topics, and avoiding gossip or speaking ill of others, will help you communicate mindfully.

Listening matters just as much. After all, there’s no way to truly share a conversation without it!