Overcoming bad habits in all relationships is core to healthy and happy living. As Emily Post said, “Good manners reflect something from inside—an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self.”
Using mindful etiquette, or asking yourself, “What are the unwritten rules that I need to follow in this situation?” affords others an opportunity to witness your character in action. But there are personal bad habits that we need to watch out for and strive to tackle in ourselves.
There’s hardly anything worse than to feel shackled by someone’s over-tending to your personal life. Being “bossy” or “nagging” is a creeping behavior that can sneak into a relationship un-noticed. It is often passed off as love and concern, but it is really about control.
Self-examining helps us step-aside micromanaging behavior.
Scrutiny is a good skill to have when carefully checking out benefits and costs, examining a paper or report, overseeing and reviewing a project, or making an important decision. But in personal relationships, looking too closely, making a person feel as if they are being viewed through a looking glass, is not only rude, but can become a habit that damages your relationship.
How can you recognize it in yourself?
Perceiving oneself as worthy is part of healthy living. Feeling that you’ve been heard and that your thoughts have value is necessary in having a close relationship with another.
“To hear someone” is defined as perceiving with the ear the sound made by another, whereas “to listen to someone” is defined as making an effort to hear what the person is saying and being alert and actively ready to process information.
How can you test your listening self?
There are other bad habits to tackle in personal relationships, but the three listed above are primary to self-improvement in the etiquette domain. Do you recognize them in your own behavior? What are some others you might want to overcome?
Recognizing your habits and targeting them for change is a bold step. Not only are you willing to be your best self, but you are proving a commitment to authentic connection with other people. It’s a commitment that will definitely change your life for the better!